<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10pt"><span><h1 class="headline"><font size="3" face="tahoma, new york, times, serif">I'm sending this especially to Stuart, who usually does a good job explaining "Catholic-speak." <img alt=":) happy" src="http://mail.yimg.com/ok/u/assets/img/emoticons/1.gif"> Dianne</font></h1><h1 class="headline"> </h1><h1 class="headline">12 Catholic Words that Don't Sound Like What They Mean </h1><div><cite class="byline">by Matthew Archbold</cite> <!-- View Count: 7845 --><i class="info">Thursday, July 07, 2011 9:17 PM</i></div><div> </div><div class="content"><div>I was born a Catholic but that doesn’t mean I knew anything about the faith until I decided to investigate it for myself in college. In my research, I came across a number of things that weren’t true that I thought were, many things that were true that I
hadn’t thought were true, and words that I misunderstood completely.</div><div>So to help others here’s a list of Catholic words that probably don’t mean what some may think they mean.</div><div><strong>Acolytes</strong> - Sounds like something you drink to flush out your system. Hyper-Ade! Now with extra acolytes. In reality it’s one who assists in the celebration.</div><div><strong>Aspergillum</strong> - Let’s be frank. It sounds like a fungus that wraps itself up in your intestine and makes you stay in the bathroom for three days. But it’s actually just a vessel or device used for sprinkling holy water during special blessings.</div><div><strong>Beatification</strong> - is not a makeover. It’s actually for those who don’t need one.</div><div><strong>Canon Law</strong> - Sounds like the title of a Steven Seagal movie. “Cannon Law -This Time It’s Personal.” But unfortunately, it’s not a thing that goes boom and knocks
holes through the stomachs of henchmen. It’s the collection of laws (canons) governing administration of the Roman Catholic Church. Booooring!!!</div><div><strong>Catechetics </strong>- It turns out that it’s not an dancercise regimen like Zumba like I thought. It’s from the Greek meaning “to sound forth,” and it is the procedure for teaching religion. You could imagine how embarrased I was showing up in my leopard print leotards and my Ricky Martin CD. (They’re pretty unforgiving. The leotards, not the catuchumens.)</div><div><strong>Ciborium</strong> - Come on. That just sounds cool, like a race of Star Trek villains with giant heads and few morals. “The Ciborium have raised their shields, Captain. Fire!” But it’s actually a vessel used to hold the consecrated bread for the distribution of the Body of Christ during communion which is probably a lot more awesome than Star Trek villains.</div><div><strong>Concupiscence
</strong>-Actually that’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like.</div><div><strong>Conference of Major Superiors of Men</strong> -How awesome does that sound? It’s like totally better than Fight Club. Charlie Sheen and I were ready to join, but it turns out it’s just an organization of major superiors representing communities of men religious in the United States. Charlie was ticked. Took a while to talk him down.</div><div><strong>Dalmatic</strong> -Sounds like there should be spots on it but there’s not. At least not often. It’s the vestment the deacon wears over the alb on solemn occasions</div><div><strong>Titular Sees</strong> - YOU GIGGLED!! You know you did. Seriously. Grow up. It’s just dioceses where the Church once flourished but which later died out. Bishops without a territorial or residential diocese of their own are given titular sees.</div><div><strong>Ultreya</strong> - I’m not saying what it sounds like it
could be, but I’m pretty sure that it is a sin to cut it, if you know what I mean. It’s actually Spanish word for “Keep on going!” or “Onward!” It is a weekly or monthly gathering of all Cursillo Group Reunions in an area to share prayers and songs and snacks. Ya know, kinda’ like kindergarten in Catholic school.</div><div><strong>Zucchetto</strong> - I’ll take extra parmesan on my zuccheto please with some lean mutton on the side. It’s a small skullcap worn by clerics.</div><div>So I hope this clears things up for you and helps you avoid some embarrasing mistakes. And just so you know, I looked pretty darn awesome in the leotards but unfortunately all the pictures were destroyed in an accidental fire in my backyard.</div></div><div><br><br>Read more: <a style="color: rgb(0, 51, 153);"
href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/12-catholic-words-that-dont-sound-like-what-they-mean?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NCRegisterDailyBlog+National+Catholic+Register#When:2011-07-8#ixzz1RfTqTgIP"><font color="#003399">http://www.ncregister.com/blog/12-catholic-words-that-dont-sound-like-what-they-mean?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NCRegisterDailyBlog+National+Catholic+Register#When:2011-07-8#ixzz1RfTqTgIP</font></a></span></div><div></div><div> </div><div><div><div><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms"><div><em><font color="#0000bf" face="Comic Sans MS">Like a deer that longs for running waters so my soul longs for you, O God.</font></em></div></font></i></font></div><div><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms">Ps 42:1</font></i></font></div><div><i><font color="#0000bf" size="1" face="Comic Sans
MS"></font></i> </div><div><i><font color="#0000bf" size="1" face="Comic Sans MS"></font></i> </div></div></div></div></body></html>