<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:tahoma, new york, times, serif;font-size:24pt"><div><span></span></div><div></div><div> </div><div><div><div><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms"><div></font></i></font><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms"></font></i></font> </div></div><div><strong>Hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers</strong> </div><div> </div></div></div><div style="font-family: tahoma, new york, times, serif; font-size: 24pt;"><div style="font-family: times new roman, new york, times, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div id="yiv984977825"><div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: tahoma, new york, times, serif; font-size: 12pt; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><div><cite class="yiv984977825byline">by Matthew Archbold</cite> <i class="yiv984977825info">Tuesday, June 28, 2011 8:04 PM </i></div><div><i></i> </div><div class="yiv984977825content"><div>OK. There’s
a lot of serious stuff going on in the Church and in the world right now and I was prepared to write on them but then I received an email from a friend of mine about Church bulletin bloopers and I laughed so hard I nearly choked to death. (I’m actually not kidding. My wife came running into the room to see if I was OK.) I have no idea of the veracity of these or their orignal source but they struck me as funny so I’m thinking you’ll probably get a laugh or two out of it as well.</div><div> </div><div>Here they
are:</div><div> </div><div>The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.. <br>—————————————<br>The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. <br>The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus. <br>—————————————<br>Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. <br>—————————————<br>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you .<br>—————————————<br>Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help .<br>—————————————<br>Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. <br>—————————————<br>For those of you who have children
and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs . <br>—————————————<br>Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. <br>—————————————<br>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. <br>—————————————<br>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. <br>—————————————<br>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice. <br>—————————————<br>Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<br>—————————————<br>Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. <br>—————————————<br>The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. <br>—————————————<br>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.<br>—————————————<br>The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. <br>—————————————<br>This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. <br>—————————————<br>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.<br>—————————————<br>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him
their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. <br>—————————————<br>Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. <br>—————————————<br>The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. <br>—————————————<br>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. <br>Please use large double door at the side entrance. <br>—————————————<br>The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:<br>” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.</div></div><div><br><br>Read more: <a style="color: rgb(0, 51, 153);" href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/hilarious-church-bulletin-bloopers/#ixzz1RfWHoMph" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><font
color="#003399">http://www.ncregister.com/blog/hilarious-church-bulletin-bloopers/#ixzz1RfWHoMph</font></a></div><div> </div><div><div><div><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms"><div><i><font color="#0000bf" face="Comic Sans MS">Like a deer that longs for running waters so my soul longs for you, O God.</font></i></div></font></i></font></div><div><font color="#0000bf"><i><font face="comic sans ms">Ps 42:1</font></i></font></div><div><i><font color="#0000bf" size="1" face="Comic Sans MS"></font></i> </div><div><i><font color="#0000bf" size="1" face="Comic Sans MS"></font></i> </div></div></div></div></div><br><br></div></div></div></body></html>