[Apologetics] Let the Dolphins Die with Dignity

[Stuart D. Gathman]

As I write, 26 marine animals are being kept alive on artificial life support:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/04/13/dolphin.rehab/index.html

Supporters claim that the animals want to live, but members of "Dolphin 
Death with Dignity" dispute that.  "These animals put themselves on that
beach for a reason," said DDD leader and lawyer George Feral,  "They wanted to
die, and these animal nuts are making them suffer by keeping them alive."
Dolphin supporters claim that the dolphins beached not because they wanted
to die, but because they were distressed and confused by sonar from underwater
vessels.  "Who are you going to believe," says Feral, "some animal rights
kooks, or someone who has dedicated his life to putting animals out of their
misery?"

Although the dolphins are unable to speak understandable human words,
supporters say that the clicks and squeaks they emit are a form of
communication, and that the dolphins are trying to tell us, "We want to live".
"That's nonsense," says Mr. Feral, "the sounds they make can sometimes seem 
like communication, but there is no intelligence there at all."  

Dolphin supporters disagree, pointing out that no PET scans have been done of
the animals brains to determine whether there is any higher order brain
activity.  "We don't need any more tests," says Mr. Feral, "it is a finding of
fact in a court of law that these animals are in a Permanent Subhuman State
(PSS).  They have been examined by 5 experts."  Dolphin supporters maintain
that the animals are actually in what some researchers call a "Minimally
Intelligent State (MIS) and protest that the testimony of three of the experts
was thrown out of court on the grounds that their testimony "lacked credibity",
and that Judge Creep and the two remaining experts were DDD members.
"Everything was done according to the proper procedures," says Mr. Feral, "and
the appeals courts have agreed.  The dolphin dopes have exercised their right
to appeal, and have finally exhausted their options."

Judge Creep has set a date of April 18 to remove the animals from 
life support (under Florida law, feeding tubes are considered
life support).  He has also denied a petition from dolphin
supporters to continue giving food and water to the animals by hand. He
has ordered a 24 hour police guard on the beach to keep protesters
away until the animals die from dehydration.

"This is a sad and dangerous day for America," said one protester, "if
we start doing this to dolphins today, tomorrow we may find ourselves
doing it to people."

"This is a victory for dignified death," said George Feral, "instead of
being kept alive as some kind of Science Pet, these animals can
finally pass away peacefully on a warm sunny beach.  That is, after all, what
they wanted."

-- 
	      Stuart D. Gathman <stuart at bmsi.com>
Business Management Systems Inc.  Phone: 703 591-0911 Fax: 703 591-6154
"Confutatis maledictis, flamis acribus addictis" - background song for
a Microsoft sponsored "Where do you want to go from here?" commercial.