[Apologetics] 12 Catholic Words that Don't Sound Like What They Mean

[Dianne Dawson]

I'm sending this especially to Stuart, who usually does a good job explaining "Catholic-speak."    Dianne
 
12 Catholic Words that Don't Sound Like What They Mean 
by  Matthew Archbold Thursday, July  07, 2011 9:17 PM
 
I was born a Catholic but that doesn’t mean I knew anything about the faith  until I decided to investigate it for myself in college. In my research, I came  across a number of things that weren’t true that I thought were, many things  that were true that I hadn’t thought were true, and words that I misunderstood  completely.
So to help others here’s a list of Catholic words that probably don’t mean  what some may think they mean.
Acolytes - Sounds like something you drink to flush out your  system. Hyper-Ade! Now with extra acolytes. In reality it’s one who assists in  the celebration.
Aspergillum - Let’s be frank. It sounds like a fungus that  wraps itself up in your intestine and makes you stay in the bathroom for three  days. But it’s actually just a vessel or device used for sprinkling holy water  during special blessings.
Beatification - is not a makeover. It’s actually for those  who don’t need one.
Canon Law - Sounds like the title of a Steven Seagal movie. “Cannon Law -This Time It’s Personal.” But unfortunately, it’s not a thing that  goes boom and knocks holes through the stomachs of henchmen. It’s the collection  of laws (canons) governing administration of the Roman Catholic Church.  Booooring!!!
Catechetics - It turns out that it’s not an dancercise  regimen like Zumba like I thought. It’s from the Greek meaning “to sound forth,” and it is the procedure for teaching religion. You could imagine how embarrased  I was showing up in my leopard print leotards and my Ricky Martin CD. (They’re  pretty unforgiving. The leotards, not the catuchumens.)
Ciborium - Come on. That just sounds cool, like a race of  Star Trek villains with giant heads and few morals. “The Ciborium have raised  their shields, Captain. Fire!” But it’s actually a vessel used to hold the  consecrated bread for the distribution of the Body of Christ during communion  which is probably a lot more awesome than Star Trek villains.
Concupiscence -Actually that’s pretty much exactly what it  sounds like.
Conference of Major Superiors of Men -How awesome does that  sound? It’s like totally better than Fight Club. Charlie Sheen and I were ready  to join, but it turns out it’s just an organization of major superiors  representing communities of men religious in the United States. Charlie was  ticked. Took a while to talk him down.
Dalmatic -Sounds like there should be spots on it but  there’s not. At least not often. It’s the vestment the deacon wears over the alb  on solemn occasions
Titular Sees - YOU GIGGLED!! You know you did.   Seriously. Grow up. It’s just dioceses where the Church once flourished but  which later died out. Bishops without a territorial or residential diocese of  their own are given titular sees.
Ultreya - I’m not saying what it sounds like it could be,  but I’m pretty sure that it is a sin to cut it, if you know what I mean. It’s  actually Spanish word for “Keep on going!” or “Onward!” It is a weekly or  monthly gathering of all Cursillo Group Reunions in an area to share prayers and  songs and snacks.  Ya know, kinda’ like kindergarten in Catholic  school.
Zucchetto - I’ll take extra parmesan on my zuccheto please  with some lean mutton on the side. It’s a small skullcap worn by clerics.
So I hope this clears things up for you and helps you avoid some embarrasing  mistakes. And just so you know, I looked pretty darn awesome in the leotards but  unfortunately all the pictures were destroyed in an accidental fire in my  backyard.


Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/12-catholic-words-that-dont-sound-like-what-they-mean?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NCRegisterDailyBlog+National+Catholic+Register#When:2011-07-8#ixzz1RfTqTgIP

Like a deer that longs for running waters so my soul longs for you, O God.
Ps 42:1
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